cramming

It's another grey day.  Hope the rain holds off for this evenings
construction.  Workaday is holding it's own.  A bit
distracted, but that's nothing new.  I think I have another story
brewing which would be fun, but first work.





Got the vent installed last night and some strapping up.  Mostly we measured and thought
how we were going to dance around the errors in the original
structure.  Live and learn.

Binoculars out, standing in the steady east wind, milky way bright and
spectacular.  Another full day done.  Venting is in on the south wall
and some of the strapping is up.  Tomorrow the strapping should be done
and the vent should be installed into the north end of the building.





I got a warm note from Adri today.  She's so excited to be coming to
Canada.  I can't wait to being to get to know her.  I think Bonnie is
more than ready to have her arrive.

A Game of Confidence

I'm meeting her for the first time. We exchange pleasantries but I rely on casual observation to be drawn to her confidence and poise. From what I can gather, she's read a book or two, which is a good thing. I am drawn to strong, bright women and she's all of those things at the very least.

She's got an electric sensuality. I try not to be obvious, but I'm not sure I've been successful.

She's more than equal to the intellectual banter of the evening. Her wit and humour are keen. She's an active participant this evening, but calm and extraordinarily self assured. She's had enough life experience to handle herself in any company, apparently. She's chosen to wear nothing revealing. Her vitality is striking.

She won't meet my eye. She has seated herself on the opposite side and not directly across from me, but as the evening wears on it becomes evident she can use that to her advantage.

Hours go by and wine is seeping into us all, and some of the company is getting too loud. Both of us have been drinking sparingly. Everyone but the two of us, seems a little sloppy as the evening wears on, but she seems to sharpen.

She arrives back from the women's room and I don't notice at first that she's opened her blazer completely and her blouse by a button. I like button down shirts on women, and her skin is luminescent underneath hers. It's not obvious at first, but soon, I begin to think she is deliberately tempting me. She deftly pushes her shoulder slightly forward every now and again to reveal a perfect picture of a beautiful bra. This one has all the appearance of that classic simplicity that good quality often speaks with. It's tasteful with it's judicious application of lace. It's white. Her skin is magnificent.

Her face is as beautiful as any other aspect of her appealing presence, and I see nothing that might deter my interest, regardless of where I look. She's petite without looking like a girl. Women that have had children, are changed. Regardless of age, I need that womanly shape to draw my full attention. She has all of that in spades. Her eyes sparkle with the evenings laughter and playful commentary.

She is young though, and I am sure there is nothing about me that has registered on her radar. Was it "Lost in Translation" where Bill Murray ends up connecting with a young woman in Japan? I'm a little spooked by the thought. This whole evening was turning out to be stimulating, if nothing else.

Irrespective of my averted vision, I can think of nothing but her, as she continues her tempting posture. I looked the first time, but have since stuck to my peripheral vision. I am keenly aware of her movements, but can hardly carry on with the rest of the group dynamic around me due to the distraction. She must know that she has become a complete distraction to me.

Everyone else seems oblivious to her activities, and no doubt the wine has blurred their skills in observation, but not mine. I'm on fire with desire, but struggle to carry on like nothing was happening. All the while chatting amicably with another somebodies mum, sitting next to me. Regardless of my interest in the topic with the women next to me, the redhead down the table is dominating every nerve ending and I ache in those places that Leonard Cohen used to play.

I was thinking that this was like a living dream. As soon as that thought cropped up, I quickly began to think of Santa Claus and little kids. That always kills my desire. I feel like a teen trying to quench the thirst.

It's been years since I felt chemistry ignite like this. It is simultaneously rousing me to rutting levels of aching desire, as well as depression about how far fetched the concept of it being mutual has to be.

I have to deliberately ignore her for long enough to let my groin rest to presentable proportions as I can feel my bladder about to risk injury. As I walk away from the table, I notice her rising too, but I didn't even want to look at her, lest something jump out of my impulsive brain and take over my mouth.

Later, as I came out of the men's, she predictably came out of the women's room. There is no mistaking her intent. Her smile is relaxed, and suggests a knowledge beyond her years. She knows that I'd not have made a move in her direction, had she not taken the lead. I have never had anyone take the lead like she did.

There was a short hall way, coming away from the washrooms where one is hidden from the main dining area. She took that place to stop me with a hand to my chest. Without looking away from my eyes, she took my hand and placed her still warm panties there, then folded my fingers around them. She kissed me on the cheek and told me that she couldn't find anything better to write her phone number on and walked away.

I'm in trouble with an erection, and I'm a long way from the table. She smells like a goddess.

Shit, no shunted shop sheets were shaved

I wrote yesterday, but I'm not brave enough to post it here.  I'm still
a bit shy to post erotica and sign my name to it.  I keep wondering
when my Mum will catch up to it, or the school principal or who knows
who else I might be less than comfortable knowing the depths of my
depravity.  heheh





Yesterday I mostly just ran around doing family chores.  That has to be
held in check or it will take over and this week is bad for it.  I'm
the one available for impromptu errands and it can take a huge bite out
of the day to make a run to the doctors office or where ever.





Today I'm off the hook I think, but I have to make a delivery anyway so
it's kind of shot anyway.  Thursday I'm at a soccer tournament all
day.  Friday M moves to the Peg, but I'll likely bow out of that.  I
seem to be the focus of whatever anxiety she's feeling.  She's being a
bit mean, so I'll just stay out of the way for a bit.





Last night we worked on sheeting the east wall of the shop.  I'm so
pumped that the construction was careful enough that you can't really
see the division between the two buildings.  I feel like I got really
lucky in matching the colours to the existing metal.  We didn't pack it
in last night until 9:40pm or so.  I'm a tired boy today, but I expect
we'll strap the other walls tonight anyway.



I'll be lucky to get a run in today.  I'm not sure it's even wise,
but if it's possible I'll be there and enjoy my time outside. 
It's a wonderful time of year to be outside and I'm going to make the
most of it.



I'm still thinking about the horses I went with Ray to look at on
Sunday.  Heavily muscled two year old quarter horses.  The
one he wants to sell me is of no interest to me, but did I ever learn a
lot hanging with him for the afternoon.



I'm gaining strength by the day again now.  I was up late writing
last night, but I'm hoping I'm over the worst of my slump. 

Today's raunch

A bit of a dubya jabbing.







I'm fine with Americans, but I'm not fine with ignorance. 
Isolation keeps so many in the U.S. insulated from a broader
context.  It pains me.  Chomsky's film Power and Terror is a decent intoduction into how far the skew is set.

  



A bit about the paranoia that farther points out the roll fear is playing in how America views itself in the world.





Astonomy is an interest for sure, but sky events like "the green flash"
and others remain vivid for me.  I found this site after

gave me a nod about lunar rainbows.  Just what I need!  One more excuse to stay up too late at night.  I

found this site that offers many of the basics.  It looks like it would be a great resource for home schoolers.





We may bring M2 home for school or more likely transfer her to another
school if she finds it irresistable to fall into old expected routines
after a

summer of working in a different and much more attentive style.

image directories

More egg for your reading pleasure.  I've found some permissions set to
unfriendly standards.  I've set them to read globally now.  So if you
had trouble viewing images linked here in the past, they should read
properly now.  Thanks southernskye for the nod.





Here is today's lunch. 
What a lunch it was.  It ended up being a bit of a last supper for M. 
She'll be moving to the city to attend the U of W this term.  Our baby
is off to the wilds of the urban landscape!  :(


Proud Papa

back in the saddle

Oh life is full of lessons of humility.  I jumped the gun in assuming
that EF had switched our exchange student.  With the long list of mixed
messages and bungled administrative faux pas on EF's part it's now my
turn to eat that humble pie.





Egg face boy.  










=============================





Adriana, the problem that EF had with the Brazilian boy is repaired and
fixed.  Your first name (Adriana) and his last name are very similar. 
There in that package that was very obviously about you and not him so
EF had not changed our student.   They only made an easy mistake on the
name.





We will welcome you at the airport when you arrive on September 9th?.





Please come and stay with us this year.





We have your room ready.





Bonnie was crying when she thought you might not be coming to us.  We
feel very badly that we have given you problems.  We want you to join
us for a great year in Canada.





Please tell us when you have booked your flight to Winnipeg.


We'll have a big sign with your name on it so you can find us when you come off the plane.





We have had some problems communicating with EF, but Theresa and I have
committed ourselves to your well being while you are here with us. 
Between Theresa and us, I'm sure we can make your year here a fantastic
adventure.  It's not the big city, but we have big hearts and a warm
fire for the cold winters.




We are sorry for any confusion.  Everything is in place to bring
you to our home in a few weeks.  Please forgive my mistakes.


Ian.

We have withdrawn as host family

Another mile stone in married life tonight.  Long story, boring and
repetitive so I'll spare you the gory details of life in a twenty year
old marriage with a randy sonofagun like me.





EF fucked up again today. 
Actually I don't know when they fucked up, but I picked up the mail
today and had a bio for a guy from Brazil when for months we've been
communicating with a girl from Venezuela.  I have heard trouble brewing
as the Venezuelan president spars with the American religious right in
the form of Pat Robertson.  I think Robertson sounds like a rogue and a
terrorist.  Or is that he's just a simple bully that hasn't been taught
any manners or civility.





Oh, is my somewhat hostile relationship with the US administration
shining too brightly.  Fuck wads.  Men that never learnt a single thing
from their mothers that was something different than they may have
learnt from their fathers.  Balance people, balance!  I'm such a
ranter. 





Saw "The 40 Year Old Virgin" last night.  I'm getting old.  I laughed my face off.  I'm so ashamed.





"The Perpetrators" were playing along with the Dust Rhinos and I should
have gone, but you know... life is short and I've spent most of it as a
juvenile, so it wouldn't hurt to grow up a bit... NOT!





I'm such a sucker for the blues and "The Perpetrators" song "She lets
me know" is so raw.  It sounds like it was recorded in someones
basement.  A simple blues riff with a powerful driving power chord
support with a very loose lead singer that knows how to swing.  It was
very difficult to listen to it and continue to drive the speed limit.





Ran tonight.  Did two miles.  No HRM and no chrono. 
M and I talked the whole way.  She's turned into a different person
this summer.  Much more interested in self preservation.  I'm
encouraged.  That was never my strong suit. 





I did three loads of laundry today, but didn't get the last one
folded.  Hung some heavy towels out on the newly restored clothes line
too which was good for me.  I love air dried towels.  It's like a luffa for after the shower.  Got to love those self induced good sensual moments.  Tomorrow I'm up early to do some cookin'. 
Maybe make some bread first up.  Haven't decided what it will be.  I'd
love to make buns, but I've never been successful.  Will tomorrow be my
day? 





I've been hurting for three weeks.  Let this be the end of the tunnel.
I'm scared to look to see if there is light.  The sky tonight was
fabulous.  Dark and brilliantly like I'm living in a galaxy.


Songs of Monty Python ringing in my head.



****************************



Dear Adriana.
We have had some difficulty communicating with EF from the beginning.
Recently we found Theresa to be a great help, but today we were handed
another surprise when we received a package for another student and not
you. This one was a boy from Brazil. We were very disappointed.
We will not host students through this program now. We are not
confident enough to be a good host with EF. We are very sorry to have
presented you with such a hope, but maybe they will find you another
good host in Canada. I'm so very sorry to have to withdraw our offer to
host you. It's a sad day for us, but we can not support EF. We feel
they have not been respectful or straight forward with us.
You will no doubt become a universal traveler and contribute much to
the world around you. Enjoy it all and live a full life full of courage
and integrity. We know you will do well at whatever you set your mind
to.
Respectfully. Ian
Below is what I sent to EF tonight that tells part of the story as to
why we have broken ties with EF.



 ========================





Hi Theresa.
In a long comedy of errors, we received in the mail today, a bio for a
fellow from Brazil. I'll return it to EF in Toronto when I go for the
mail next week some time.
This is just a note to say that our confidence has not been up to the
twists and turns of dealing with EF.
We had been looking forward to a good experience, but it seems that we
just don't have the confidence to pull it off, nor to be as flexible as
EF needs us to be. Sorry for the mix up, as you've been a great
ambassador for Canada and EF, so it's no pleasure to withdraw our offer
to host a student through EF's program.
The lines of communication remain questionable in our minds and we can
not see contributing with open hearts in this venture with so little
respect on display and so much taken for granted. This is not to say
that you personally have carried anything of that type of feeling
through your presentation. You have not. You have been a pleasure to
deal with and we have all appreciated how you have helped try to make
this all happen.
I'll copy you on what I send Adriana and apologise to her and her
family in the best way I know how. I'll include the content of this so
they can ponder it later if they so choose.
Please feel free to share this with whom ever you would care to.
Respectfully. Ian

What will Adriana do in all the cold winter months?

We are expecting an exchange student from Venezuela sometime soon.  I
don't think she'll make it here before the beginning of school, but
we'll likely see her here before the middle of September I expect. 
Visa clearance was hindered by our past coordinator and the documents
from our school here.  Grrrrr.





Her English is broken, but she seems to wonder a lot about winter and
what we could possibly do through all that cold.  I'm not one for
staying in just because it's cold.  I like to be warm, don't get me
wrong, but that's a cinch and isn't difficult to do especially if one
is active so

I posted some ideas  last night for her. 





Out for sushi last night and a couple of Asahi beers.  I love that stuff.





Bread making and deliveries today. 

Mars will be on centre stage through the last of the summer and into the fall.  


 


I live in the middle of Canada.  I'd call it central Canada, but
Toronto and the world that revolves around it to mean that although
it's a hell of a drive to get there.  Mars is rising about 23:00 in
this part of the world just now.  If you can connect with a telescope
group or public program through a local planetarium it's going to be
the best look you'll get.  This site will help you determine where to look if you want to identify any of the objects in the sky. 

Best signature today...

As seen on the alt.bread.recipes news group.



...The irony is that Bill Gates claims to be making a stable operating

system and Linus Torvalds claims to be trying to take over the world...



Tux is my my favourite mascot.  Tux embodies all that Linus is and more.

The job that won't end

Fitting the metal sheeting to the shop roof tonight should be tricky with the wind up like it is now. I hear some of the scrap bits tumbling across the yard as I sit here. There are some thunder boomers forecast for tomorrow and I'm sure hoping to have the metal on before that. The lumber yard has held us up until late yesterday with materials not delivered.

Yesterday's run seems to have gone down all right, but I know I'm short of sleep. I didn't nod off until three or so this morning. Mood is light and focused. Dextroamphetamine is such a gift for me and ADHD.

I had a local guy stop in for a battery in his watch today. He's a bit on the dull side, but full of the subtle, survivalist ways of the culturally empoverished. He is very far over weight and by the time he'd walked the 10 meters from his truck to the shop with was breathing like I would after running a brisk 3 kilometers. I am so grateful to have a body that works. I wish I could feel some compassion for him but I only came up with my mean streak. I guess I've got a ways to go before nirvana after all. :P

How I survived the Christian dinner date.

Ran a deadly four miles today.  I hadn't run in ten days, but the legs
were strong and I just was pissed off enough to need to beat myself up
a bit.  First mile was a slow 75% (132/bpm)  Second mile I ramped up to
85% (150/bpm)  Third mile I went slowly up to 97% (171/bpm).  The
second half mile was fast but I fucked up my chrono and missed the
split.  Damn!





Mile four started out slowly but the second half I turned on the jets
again and finished the fourth mile at about 85% or so.  I feel OK
tonight, but we'll see what I feel like after a slow 5 miles tomorrow
then another tempo on Wednesday.  Roofing tomorrow night might cramp my
style some as will not being in bed, like NOW!

Shine on you crazy diamonds.

Hetero man. Middle aged and still firing on all cylinders.

http://zgal.sourceforge.net/

I was looking for software to create image galleries and came across
this zgal demo.  It was full of fully dressed women.  I don't
know why I find so many of these images so attractive.  It must be
that they are all homespun type quality. 




http://adult.backwash.com/previewnewsarchive.php?newsid=1122

Those images lead to this little gem.  I'll spend more time here
later, but it looks like it's going to be good for those interested in
erotica.



This one drew my attention with "Does food make you feel sexy." 
I've got it on the brain today I'm afraid.  Too much getting
accomplished around here and it's stoking the fires.

http://earthlydelights.typepad.com/earthlydelights/2004/02/hungry_sexy_or_.html



One thing led to another and whoa!  I'm surfing.  Save me.

http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Pamela.html



The art of seduction.

http://tabulas.com/~alongtheway/2005/05/



Mac Rebennack.  Some may remember him as "Dr. John".  A legend in his own time.

grass farts and dog breath

Any takers on the RASC Winnipeg Spruce Woods Star Party?  I've never
been, but the Winnipeg group is a dedicated lot of troopers.  I've been
to a couple of meetings and enjoyed the enthusiasm.  I've yet to get to
the observatory, but maybe this fall will see some more effort there. 
They have quite a big telescope there to dazzle a guy bent on toying
with machines of all kinds.





Tonight M2 went off with Ian to fish at the duck pond, east of Rosa. 
They came back with a couple of small jack fish.  It'll be bone city
tomorrow for breakfast, but I'm sure M2 will enjoy them.





I took a couple of fillets off the first one and then M2 went nuts on
the second one.  I love that kids coordination.  I would love to school
her in something that demanded the most out of her body.  She's just
built to run.  When she was really young, I remember watching her with
a full sized baseball bat tucked up under her arm so she could pivot it
up with both hands after throwing the ball up then clocking the ball
hard, as if it was a certainty.  What a kid.   She's letting her hair
grow a bit so she's not quite so dyke at 12 years old.  She's become
much softer over the summer as she was treated like the special kid she
is by our exchange student "C" that we housed for six weeks.  It was
all so so good for M2.  There were many tears on departure and in the
days following.  It surprised us all, how well the summer went with an
import to our unorthodox style here.





M2 and I are both ADHD and card carrying members I might add.  :P 
She's done trials on what I like to term "pharmaceutical grade speed". 
It's dextroamphetamine, but I like to make Mums uncomfortable.  It's
always easy to piss off guys, but Mums tend to pose more of a
challenge.  I'm a fan of dex.  I'm a fan of ADHD.  I'm thinking it's an
under rated resource for our culture.  Oh baby, turn me loose with the
links on this puppy!





Speaking of Mums.  A friend of mine has a Mum that stopped in today and
never even glanced up to acknowledge I was alive.  I've obviously over
done the pissing off in that direction.  Not quite sure what's up with
that, but I suppose it might not be all mine.  She seems to prefer the
cool distance of isolation with people.  Curiouser and curiouser.

Think Rudyard Kipling.



Yes, yes, I'm feeling my oats tonight.  I'm still in a foul state
emotionally, but Boo's home and now my hair is all trimmed tonight and
I
don't look quite the frightening sight as I did before dinner. 
She's such a sweetie for keeping Papa looking so good!  :P


Rave On.



Now that was a great looking pit bull.  Questions?








And truth be told not a bad photograph either. Humble just ain't in me tonight.




This should entertain the geeky ones until the wee hours.

anthropomorphic to the core

I used to think very pessimistically about people.  Actually not so
much about people, but about humankind in general.  Horses were one of
my salvation's in finding a way to be more at peace in my own skin.

Dogs too, but I'll maybe get into that later





Communication has been an interesting topic to me for as long as I can remember.  Vicki Hearne's "Adam's Task"
has been an important book for me in that it opened up the world of
animal training to me like no one else had been able to. I've read it
many many times.  It's not for everyone, but for those sensitive to the
remaining 93% of the message that eludes words, this is an interesting
way to begin to look at all our relationships.





Another influential book is Monty Roberts
biography, "The Man Who Listens to Horses".  I've only read this one
once, but it works as a wonderful story irrespective of you
appreciation of horses.  It has some interesting things to say
indirectly about the emotional lives of boys.  "Raising Cain" is getting a lot of attention from our bookish crowd here on that topic just now.





I'm boarding three horses
just now and have begun to interfere with their heads a bit.  I may set
to break ( poor choice of terms, but anthropomorphic language aside,
that's what it's called.) the yearling this winter.  I don't like her
very much so I may not tackle her at all and focus on this years foal /
colt.  I've never had a gelding, but would prefer one this time round. 
I've owned only two horses to date, three including one of these
youngsters.  I have to decide which one or whether I want to have both
over the winter.  I think the mare is preggers again which kinda
blows.  She's not broke to ride either and I've had none of them in the
barn yet to see if they have any manners. 



Anyone wanting to help pitch hay and straw bales into the barn loft at a moments notice, please leave your addy with me. 







The yearling is a bit of a bitch in all the wrong ways.  Really saucy
and not prone to easy handling.  I would bet she's be a bucking show
with a saddle on.  My bones aren't terribly drawn to things getting a little western any more than already is likely when handling young horses stock.





I like the colt, but he's got a small head and I'm not sure he's going
to grow into it.  I like how he runs though.  More to be revealed. 
Time for construction man to play his part again.





Crab apple jelly left a big bowl of jelly fuzz in the fridge for this
morning's breakfast.  With produce being so poor for the last couple of
years it's been too long since I had that nectar.  Fuzz in yogurt at
lunch too.  Yeah!

awakening

Is that cleavage to die
for? I think it just may be. I have some sweet friends I'll tell you.
It's a bitch when I'm so wrapped up in my own little bit of hell to
fail to recognize the gifts around me. Oh my, those look so delicious! 

Feed me!


Ian rising from the ashes.





late breaking edit...
Ever changing avatar makes this redundant. That wonderful skin will be back, no doubt.

Construction in high gear

Installed the drop rafter, and got all the strapping up.  Supported
the end wall for the drop rafter and cut all the rafter ends to size
and installed the face boards.  Tomorrow the roof ends will be bridged
to provide nailers for the drip edge and hopefully we've got enough
drip edge to get that out of the way.



Once that's done, the sheeting can begin.  



No
running today again.  Probably not tomorrow either.  I just want to
work.  Shop work, outside work, guest house work, I don't care.  I'm
desperate to get out of my head and into something where I'll have
something left over when I'm done.  



Making a good dollar this week didn't hurt my spirits any.  One foot in front of the other...



PU
is having her cycle again after less than 3 weeks.  She's tortured with
vomiting pain.  She's a tough bird, but she's no match for
endometriosis such as she's fighting.  Menopause would be a great gift
at this stage.



Ian of the evil temper.

alt.horology and Hermle rant

Raging through bench work like a man possessed.  I'm getting into a
groove now and it's all coming back to me.  Too bad some of these jobs
just don't seem to want to let me finish with them. 





The German company Hermle, sure knows how to make a profit on clock
movements, but they make it really difficult for me to look good doing
restoration, conservation, repair or maintenance on them.  I monitor
the news group alt.horology
and post infrequently there.  That's where someone (dAz?) gave me the
nod about what makes these clocks such a pain now where at one time
they were no problem. 





They apparently have changed to a soft core shafting that after about
twenty years is all that's left.  Once the hard cover plating is worn
away, the soft core isn't a good enough bearing material to do the job
no matter how polished or well cleaned and lubricated.  It sucks to
have such short sighted manufacture in a machine that for as long as
anyone can remember has been revered for it's longevity. 





People get attached to these damn things and if a replacement movement
isn't available it's down to me to try and rebuild the old one.  I much
prefer the British mentality in these things.  Over engineering by
several hundred years is their style on most things.  I've got other
rants for the Brit's but maybe another day.





No running again today, but I think I figured out what some of the
problem is.  Many of the wild tall grasses here are blooming and I'm
allergic to air borne interference.  My glands are fighting again today
and I'm betting it's a seasonal burst of pollen as the wild grasses
make seed for the next round. 





Tomorrow should see the metal on the shop roof.  I sure hope so.  I'm
sick of the anxiety waiting for a windy storm to blow up and rip things
apart before soaking the place down.





I got some mail this week from magnolia gurl.  Damian Rice?  I think
that's the name.  I'm due for some fresh blood in the music
department.  Maggie is good to me, always flattering to have the
attention of the young at heart. 

Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did...

You'd think I was premenstrual or something. I'm foul. Too ugly to write. I should be locked up before I bite something and leave scars.

burning with fatigue

I think I'm going to scrap the competitive running until I get straight
with some of the projects here that keep finding no time to move
forward.  I'm forever the procrastinator and some of the outstanding
tasks are hurting me.





I'm discouraged that I can't manage my life so I have enough sleep to
support my ambitious schedule.  I had been managing OK without the more
intense runs, but now with the hard runs once a week I can't seem to
keep up to the sleep and food requirements.  So many buttons, so little
time.  I could use some steady income for a while and some rest.  I'm
at the end of my energy reserve.  It's been an intense summer this year
and the school year is going to be at least as demanding.





I was just beginning to run when the other Ian showed up to lend a hand
with the shop roof.  It's supposed to be a day of thunder showers
tomorrow so I'm a bit apprehensive about a room with no roof.  The
fellow that was helping got hurt and I lost him.  I don't know how to
do that kind of work so was relying on him to see me through.  Life in
the fast lane.





I got on EF's case about our exchange student from Venezuela yesterday.   EF
has been a big disappointment so far.  Our Regional Coordinator has
dropped every ball she had to play.  Yesterday I got on the offensive
and ruffled a few feathers.  I hope it was enough for them to pick up
their socks.  Adriana deserves better.  She's going to miss all the
orientation stuff and be dumped directly from big city Venezuela into
downtown Senkiw.  She's likely to die from the shock.  :P





Time for some grits and jowls. 

Winnipeg hackfest

OpenCity 2005
A Festival of Participatory Culture





Hackfest@OpenCity_2005





These are both related. The first is the home page for this festival
and the second is a link I'm interested to promote. It's offering a
free install fest for people that want to have Linux installed on their
machines. You'll have winduhs on the same machine too I expect. This
looks like a very good festival. Too bad I'm so sick of running into
the city!

Tears, laughs and a boat load of good food.

 The Virtual Machine Shop





This looks like a pretty good resource for starting out and for some of us, later on too! 





Ran my three miles today after bottoming out and missing Saturday's
cross training and Sunday's long run.  I just over did it and had all
the classic symptoms of over training.  I just have to touch the hot
element to see how the stove works!  I'd been so clean on that type of
stuff for so long I forgot how much it bites!




I'll hope that I'm fit to put in my four miles tomorrow.  Maybe
I'll take my gear to the city and catch a run there... hmmmm





C is headed back to Quebec tomorrow.  She's the exchange student we've
had for six weeks this summer.  She's been a bundle of fun and good
energy.  Lots of good food, tears, gifts and laughs tonight.  The girls
headed down to the river after dark for one last swim.  We took a lot
of pictures tonight and enjoyed the last night together.  What a ride
to develop such a close bond like this.  It's been a big bonus to the
summer for us all.





In a couple of weeks we should have Adri from Venezuela for the whole
of the school year.  Here we go again.  I hope it can be half as
rewarding as our time with C.




It feels like some good decisions are being made now.  Schedule 2
narcotics are a wonderful thing.  Pharmaceutical grade speed is
what
I'm talkin' bout!  ADHD... hey look!  String!  Feed the
hyper guy
speed, yeah!  It's been such a good thing to have the chill of
dextroamphetamine on my team these past two years.  Life might
have been very different had I been medicated with speed when I was a
kid.





It's been very low on the side effects after the initial adaptation,
and the benefits have been outstanding.  I have many more options and
such much more social comfort.  Now, making money is another matter all
together, but we'll get to that later... or I'd better.  I need new
runners every 500 miles and if I don't get some cash flow soon, I'm
going to end up doing without.  Summer is almost over though and the
kids and Mum will head back off to school and I'll have the place to
myself again.  That will help.





The garlic is ready to dig.  I made foccacia the other night and was it
ever good to have fresh garlic to build i t with.  I love those little
bulbs.

Gala affair

A rockin' good party filled with young women in flattering garb. My, my I'm getting old, but a fire still burns.

The gala for the exchange students was last night in Winnipeg. The music was good, the food horrible and the company in the kids was outstanding. What vitality!

Once dancing I was aware keenly of my fitness in relation to the other adults. It was a pleasure to still have a body that moves and works well.

If you are ever in Winnipeg, skip the Marigold for Chinese food.

Moanin'

Moanin' and groanin'

It's a down day again. More output than input I suppose. That's usually how I find myself like this. It's a sad commentary on the one hand that I've made it this far without learning to keep a consistent balance. On the other hand, it's been an unprecedentedly long run of consistent wise self moderated balance that preceded this bottoming out.

Faith and gratitude. Ian.

focaccia / garlic / onions / lamb / Greek salad / big ass pineapple upside down cake.

Made a wonderful dinner tonight to serve to new friends and they cancelled. Not without good reason, and it was difficult to feel selfish after the reason became known to me. His dad died the night before, then before he could get to bed in the morning after a trying night watching his father pass away, he heard a couple of odd thumps from upstairs.

His daughter has just come home from some surgery and was lying in amongst too many hand sized clots of blood, white as a sheet and unconscious by the bathroom door. Another day in the fast lane.

It's difficult imaging a more demanding start to the day. I hope they find some peace in the next while to collect their thoughts.

We had lunch together a while back and he told me the story of his son coming out as a gay man. It was a painful story, but one with great hope for him and his friends and family. It always seems men have a tougher time with "gay". I expect that's because most men find it erotic to even consider two women together.

< big sigh > Humans are a simple sort in some ways. < /big sigh >

We tried to invite some other folks over at the last minute, but nobody was free to come. The people we knew could come for cake, we thought wouldn't eat the dinner we had made. It turns out the fellow actually eats more than just chicken and in fact likes lamb! Duh. Can't win for losing. Focaccia, quiche, a rich Greek salad with the first of the vine ripe tomatoes and a pineapple upside down cake that is so tasty!

M was off to a party just south of St. Pierre tonight. She's got some stuff going on that gurl. She's gone from being a bit of a social pariah to a butterfly. She's got herself addicted to some healthy habits over the last few months and it's showing well on her. I love having such an independent minded good looking smart daughter. I'm just sorry she has to move on with her life and let her go off and share all the fun she's having with others.

Had the telescope out tonight and what a treat. B is short but seemed interested when they came for coffee and cake, so I got a stubby stool to help! I was surprised that he wanted to go for a walk too. It seems like he should really be a more frequent bud and every time I get together with him and his wife. That feeling gets stronger every time we meet.

The clouds and the aurora cooperated to make a pretty good show of M13, the moon and the Andromeda Galaxy. We puttered around with M trying to get a party organised but had lots of good time at the eye piece too. The beauty of M13 wasn't lost on B which is a treat for me. L had been out the night before and he's a much less laid back guy and the clouds just wouldn't leave L a clear view of even a lowly view of the moon which sucks. Then again he's a bit of a hard ass, and if he doesn't have the understanding and patience to wait or try again, then he's probably a waste of time to try to expose him to the treats anyway. Life is like that sometimes.

Plus je vois l'homme, plus j'aime mon chien - Blaise Pascal

It was great to be observing with someone who was patient and thrilled with some of the sights, even if it is a slow game to play.

Got all my work calls made. Got one problem clock done, save the casing. Two more are close to being finished, but tomorrow will be a short day with a gala in the city tomorrow night.
Still 24 hours every round!
The letch. Ian.

Oh woe is me...

Most times I hook up with people over something I'm doing. I'm running a lot just now. I ran 88 miles last month. I haven't run in 23 years Can you believe that life roars into being then wanes and pretty soon your dreams are but faint hopes and the one thing you're truly good at is pretty useless. On Wednesday I ran my first intervals. It was very intense. 8 x 400 meter repeats, with 2 minutes between and trying to maintain the same speed in each one. I actually attained the coveted slight negative split. I'm not certain what that says really, other than I'm going to be up to my neck in trouble come race day on the 25th. I'm entering my first race since sports days at school. 10,000 meter or 10km should put a dent in my mental toughness.

I ran it in a TT (time trail) before beginning this eight week program in 56 minutes and change. It will be interesting to see if I can line up all the ducks neatly on race day. I'm so exciteable I doubt I'll be able to focus well with all the excitement. My main concern is that I'll go out too fast and not leave myself fresh for the second half. I haven't decided whether to go alone or to take Bonnie.

I get my Boo back next week. I can't wait to see her. She says she's looking pretty good with all the activity this summer. Even her older sister has run this summer. It's weird, but true, she's getting addicted to the things running brings. It's like the body was designed to have a cardiovascular load put on in and won't really function well without it. 4 times a week for 40 minutes, not counting warm up and cool down. If you can keep the intensity down to 70% which for me is 123/bpm (beats per minute) or no higher than 80% you'll change your very life force. It's highly addictive. I did nine months of base training at those low intensities. It left me giddy!

I started really really slowly. I took 14 weeks to go from walking a half hour to running a half hour. The plan I followed was pretty simple, but I did not want to get hurt. I knew how good it could feel to be fit, but hadn't run for a long time and the last time was a disaster. I have my old running journal if you ever want to read about pain in the way of shin splints and runners knee. Ugly, ugly and stupid mistakes.

I came pretty close to hurting myself with Wednesday's run, but maybe I can pull out of it. At least my legs have some strength tonight. Manon says I'm getting "chickens" on my calves because they are a bit more lumpy now than before. I've dropped down from a high of 189 to 168 pounds now. Tomorrow calls for cross training lightly for an hour. I may do a short run, or maybe check out the fitness calabrator on the heart rate monitor. I tried it once but it was early in my experience and I goofed it up. I'll have to review the details before I do the walk this time. I have managed to see how fast I can make my heart beat to help in the calibration of some of the training. That's an ugly little experience people that enjoy comfort more than pain should avoid.

You might think I'm referring to clocks and watches, but I'm not. I used to think I had some skill there and I probably did once, but the neglect has rendered it mediocre at best. I haven't worked in many weeks and I've just spent the last two full days working. It's sobering to be this far along in life and only know how to make love to women as the grand sum total of ones middle aged skill set.

I was such a slut in high school. I had three women going at once through grade ten. I lost my virginity in grade nine to a 4'10" national calibre figure skater. Her mum hated me. Her dad wasn't any too respectful either if I remember correctly. Her little sister was a bomb though. Sheelah what a figure. They were both trim and petite, but the sister was very good looking in a sensual way. She was highly provocative and well proportioned.

The worst I remember was her parading around in a translucent top that hung off her shoulders, bra less and just kind of draped over her breasts. The top made it clear that if you happened to be lying on the floor and looking up that shirt, you could see the material suspended off her nipples. She was a distraction.

J was more my speed though. She wasn't quite good enough to make it into the big time skating world, but she sure knew how to practise. Long hours at Vancouver's Hollyburn Club where the rich rub shoulders with the rich were odd.

I've always despised money, but it's damn hard to be happy when you run short. I'm short now and need to get that fixed. I've also got the shop roof all pulled apart and I'm not sure I can put it back together. Stress!!!!!

I'm not much for construction, so I'm in over my head anyway, but I let someone talk me into getting in much deeper than I've ever been before. Scary stuff. One should stick with the things they are good at and let the rest go. Seems like such a simple plan, but I have not been able to heed it's suggestion well. The distract able one... ADHD to the core. Card carrying member of the.... "hey look, string!" club. And besides, I don't know that it would be fun anymore if I charged for it. :D

Watch out gurl... that tea and whisky thang can bite you if it's doing things for you that you can't do for yourself. It's cruel in the end. If you ever need to quit, look me up.

The rambler / Slut / Dark side showing - Ian.

Private message board blues

RUNNINGMANIA.COM







One of my homes for running and brand new too!  The forum there is made
up mostly from members who got ticked off at the Running Room forum's
heavy hand.  Someone mentioned a shoe in a review type post and RR
didn't carry that shoe so they deleted the post.







I helped administer the private board for ADDForums.com and I campaigned
strongly to involve ideas like the Creative Commons Licence to help
retain the best of the transient membership, but the owner didn't see
fit to let me do what I'd been given the position to do and now,
predictably the membership continues to cycle with a base of activity
from the odd brilliant volunteer, but mostly it's a lowest common
denominator situation.  I hate feeling like a fruit fly!







It's a common thing on private boards to flex muscle in order to keep
control of your client base, but I think they miss the point all
together.  The ground rules have changed.  The consumer is no longer at
the mercy of the corporate interest.  We have a voice again like we did
when the bazaar was a public forum for all to speak and be heard.  Live
journals or blogs are some of that but in the corporate world they are
slow to move.  Eric Raymond's "Cathedral and the Bazaar" is another good bit of insight into this type of thing.







Although the cluetrain manifesto isn't new, it's still able to make
some good points about some of the shifts that have taken place once
the Internet became common place to consumers.  Granted there will
always be people that need to colour between the lines, but there has
been a back log of energy stifled for about 200 years, some say, while
business controlled very tightly what we saw, when and where. 







The story of how the Internet got away on business and remains "wild"
is an interesting one.  It was a conscious choice of a couple of bright
lights.  Glyn Moody's "Rebel Code" catches the history that big
business won't be interested in being widely known.  The story is about
things like Linux, Richard Stallman and a host of characters that will go down in history as movers and shakers of our time. 







The social implications of empowering third world countries (and nobodies like me) like India
and China with GNU and Free Software is going to rock the current
positions of power in fascinating ways.  The American Government
continues to play hard ball to protect itself, but what it's not doing
is competing. 







Like the Running Room, they just don't get it.  People can talk to each
other again as if we were in the markets of old.  Want to buy a
camera?  Found one you like?  If you are like me, you'll likely check
out what other owners have to say about the product now and not be held
to sponsored magazine reviews or other even less obvious company hype. 
These are interesting times.





My good wife is home from a binge to Minneapolis with our eldest.  Apparently my gift is a little number from Victoria's Secret.  Gotta go.   >8o!...

Over the line

Between the heavy day working construction on Monday in the heat and yesterdays intense run, I slept very poorly. I hope the crew doesn't want to work on the shop today. It's overcast and looks very much like it's going to be a damp day of rain showers. I'd be grateful for the break.

It's been a month and a half since we've seen any rain. We were flooded all summer until the first week in July. When I was at the school track yesterday for my run, I noted that the folks cutting the grass there were still just catching up on hacking back the parts that could not be cut because of the abundant water. I'd gladly suffer some rain just now.

Sleep is always a problem. The primitive antihistamines knock me out so I usually take those to help me get to sleep. Last night they weren't enough. It will be a long day as I try to keep one foot falling in front of the other. Smiling will be even more difficult. I'm always prone to seeing the negative, but when I'm so short of sleep and over taxed physically, it's impossible to avoid.

No coffee today. Mellow is the word. Walk quietly, let it go, reside in gratitude and bed time will come again soon.

8 x 400 repeats

What an education! This was the most challenging thing I've done in ages, maybe ever. Physically it was within reach but the combination of my body complaining and my mind talking trash to me was interesting. This running game is getting more interesting all the time.

Are these supposed to be working my vO2max primarily?

I ran these today for the first time. Managed to bungle the chrono on #2  but I was able to get a little faster on each.

1:40
****
****
1:41
1:38
1:33
1:32.71
1:32.22

These were unlike any running I've ever done before. It was a real challenge to get through these.

Average HR = 146 / 83% Maximum HR = 169 / 96%

I seemed to recover well, but it became unmistakable that the load was increasing. I was short of breath in the last 50 meters of #6 and then by #8 I was puffing for all I was worth for the last 200 meters.

I just kept the tempo of my legs going and hoped my times would hold up.

I really haven't a clue what I'm doing. Is anyone willing to hazard a guess whether this is this about the level of intensity I'll benefit most from? Should I be spending more time in a deficit? Less time maybe?

Although it was obviously taking some serious demands from my legs, the lungs were heaving to capacity in the latter stages as I've described. Is this where the vO2max gets pushed?

This was an incredible run. It required a lot of focus I'm not used to while running. I'm as curious as all get all about what it is I was doing and what I was supposed to be doing. I know it took a lot out of me and that I'll need to rest well tonight.

sore eyes

I've baled out on this mornings construction. My eyes are sore to touch, I'm so tired. That means I can run today yes? :P

We'll hit the project again when Ian McKinnon gets here after work at 16:00 sometime. I've some materials to pick up and then some watch work to do. Groceries to buy will flush out the rest of the day. Louise is still not back from the city and Claudel is working today, so John and I would have to be tending kids all day from up on the roof and that's not likely going to lead to much getting done through the day anyway. Dang! The project from hell.

The best part I guess is that Ian and John really got their heads around the remaining questions about what remains to be done. Hopefully, the weekend will see it pretty much done and over with.

PU phoned from Minneapolis and Meite is shopping with banshee like intensity. PU is aghast at the cost of things at the Mall of America. I thought they were going down for cultural events, but maybe shopping has become a cultural event now. Not for me yet!

Played a bit of guitar on Sunday and that's left me feeling like I could kill several hours there today. Must stay focused!

You know how sometimes people don't sound like they look, or how you'd think they'd sound. I had one of those moments today when a long time friend called. We've written back and forth for a while and I expect we are both more comfortable in words, but this woman should be making a living with her voice! Smoothly sensual. She could sell anything over the phone to a man and likely a few women. Yikes... not many people come across as sensual on the phone but she has that one down pat. The best part is that it's not an affectation, or if it is, I bought it hook line and sinker.

Father in law is down. I'm off to give him a call. He's a super guy and everyone loves his vitality. When he's sick it's not a good feeling for any of us.
Cheers! Ian. Shopward bound!

Big job today. With John as skipper, we sailed into ripping the roof off the shop. The new trusses are in place and my bony but has to sleep. Big out put of calories today I'll tell you.

Heard from Boo tonight. She's in Quebec on an exchange trip. We have a girl from where Boo is staying. It's good fun and we've only got ten days to go before C heads back to Quebec and we get Boo back home.

John got here bright and early so no run today. I've got to shop and deliver some work tomorrow, so maybe I can beg some time to run too.

doing the nasty

I spent a better portion of the day writing. Not here, but nasty bits
of erotica. I've joined a small group of writers in a yahoo group to
share tips on writing. They are a serious bunch, so the mechanics of
writing take precedence over content from what I can tell. I published
a couple of things there before I lost my nerve and have benefited from
some excellent writing classes, but I was looking for more "content" to
see how the subject might be pitched. A close friend suggested I check
out literotica.  



When I did, I knew I was home. Content out the wazoo! All carefully
categorized and everything! Today I slacked off big time. I read and
wrote and eat and read and wrote. PU and the younger girls were away
and it was just M and me at home again. M worked today so I had the
place to myself. It was richly appreciated alone time. PU got home
tonight in time to pack and be off with M to Minneapolis tomorrow for
the week. I'll be doing the manual labour thing. How I'm going to fit
my running in has yet to be determined.

And now, it's time for my obligatory two pages of Harry Potter before I
conk out for the night.

cookin'

Stinking hot summer day today. I loved it. Normally I don't like the heat but this year I seem to crave it.

John's pool liner is patched and the pump is out of the well. We'll likely start tearing the summer shop roof apart on Monday if the weather holds. I feel fit enough although last night and the whole of last week makes me want to get to bed at a decent time tonight.

The horses are content and the foal is growing well. The yearling is still a little saucy for my liking. I have fought with so many ornery animals I just want a docile type of horse with some love of running now. It's a fight to break a horse at worst but at best it's quite a soul searching experience. Monty Roberts biography is worth the read if you are interested in horses and what can be done with them. Another excellent read about communicating with animals is Vicki Hearne's "Adam's Task". I've read it 15 times now and I could continue to read from it and learn. Yes I'm slow, but it's a good book too. :P

It's such a pleasure to have the house to myself. Meite is working tonight and I'm off to pick her up in a minute, but it's been sweet to have a quiet house.

512,000 km and counting

A slow 3.5 mile walk home on a moonless night, a truck, chain and a tired Papa and we're good to go.

Just got Meite home. She blew the timing belt on the yota 3.5 miles east. She said the sky was fantastic to entertain her on the walk home. Is that kid able to look at the positive or what?

Over a half million kilometers and still ticking. I am in awe of the Japanese craftsmanship in building this little car. It's a 1988 Toyota Corolla station wagon. It has the 4AF engine and I can't believe what kind of precision went into the engineering in that machine. What a pleasure to maintain! How very rewarding.

The thing I'll remember fondly for the longest is taking the dash apart to replace the blower fan for the interior heat and vent. I must have spent a half hour dismantling it the first time. I looked at the mess I was making and the number of plastic parts that had to be fitted back together and thought I'd just end up tossing it all out and living with the car looking more like wreck than a car.

To my surprise the dash pieces all went back together very easily. I had only experienced North American construction to that point so it was quite a treat not to have to fight too hard.

If it's only the timing belt that's gone, I'll be tickled. Meite kept dreaming up ideas on how it could have been so much worse. That kids is blessed with some examples in her life where it's clear that positive talk is helpful in getting through the days. I have never been much good at seeing the positive.

John will need a hand tomorrow with the repair of his pool liner and he's just so not intimidated by challenge. I can handle challenge, but only if there is only me to apply the pressure. Even then, I often crumple like a cheap suit when faced with adversity.

I was angry when Meite woke me up tonight, but it wasn't long before her infectious positive outlook had brought me around to a more mature perspective. I'm sure going to miss her when she's gone off to the University of Winnipeg in a few short weeks. I can't believe she's my daughter. She's had to grow up with me and I'm pretty much crippled when it comes to binding to human relationships. I'm a bit better with dogs and horses, but not by much.

It's not that I can't "read" them, it's just that I can't celebrate them. I always focus on the negative.
The Rambler.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
And if I am only for myself, what am I?
And if not now, when?
by: Hillel 100 BCE

My find for the day

A day off running. Tomorrow is a 60 minute cross training day, but I may be cross training helping John fix his pool. Shovelling sand counts as cross training right? :P I thought it was to be a "light" day for training, but John's got plans for my roof so I best make plans for his pool. :D

http://www.thousandoaksoptical.com/solar.html

The local Winnipeg branch of the RASC mail list was after some solar film to quickly put together a solar filter for a 6" scope this week-end. I am missing my own solar filter.

As one uses this film, one is supposed to check it in a dark room with a flash light to check that there are no breaches in the protective coatings that might blind you.

If one uses their scope in the day time to observe the sun frequently, one might become bored with the practise of checking the film ever observing session.

It was on such a day as this that I almost didn't check my filter for holes that might let the powerful light from the sun scorch my retina right out of my eye.

I had bought extra film when I originally purchased mine and so when I found that all my carefully stored "spare" film had the same type of damage, I was disappointed and a little scared. I'd read the literature that came with the film, but hadn't noticed an expiry date on any of it. So this summer I'm still without a solar filter.

Telescopes are a great thing, but please, please, please don't buy a "Trash Scope". Bad telescopes capture the imagination of the unsuspecting public year after year and it should be illegal. Buyer beware is not always so easy, especially with telescopes.

Start with binoculars. There are a gazillion and one things to look at in binocs. It'll help you to learn the sky and you'll either take to observing or you'll move along to some other interest and have binoculars for birds, and wildlife of all kinds as well as something to look at the moon when the spirit moves you.

The trick is to get them nailed down to a tripod. A simple board with some slots, some hook and eyelet type fabric and a 1/4" t-nut and you're pretty much home free. The Kingston RASC group had a wonderful barn door tracker that's fun if you're a little handy with wood too.

perfect summer day

25C brilliant sky and a stiff 40km/hr wind out of the north west all made for a dry air mass to caress and nurture. A very soft day to be alive.

I don't have to run tomorrow! I'm so ready for a day off. Early to bed and all, I can't wait to be asleep. PU is off with M and a friend of hers to the cottage tomorrow and it will be very quiet around here. I made a dent in some clock work today but there is lots that remains undone. I have a chime mechanism that's challenging my superiority at the moment. :P

Stretched the itbs out tonight and spent a lot of time keeping my legs flex able. I'm in love with running, but it's the self care that has me really hooked.

With friends sending cute images of family vacations like this, I can't help but sleep well.
http://shorterlink.org/387 Thanks E.

todo

If I could only figure out how to enter some text into the "about this journal" I'd sleep a bit better.

I was trying to convince myself I was having a day off of my running schedule tomorrow. As it turns out, I've got 3 miles planned and then some strength exercise. I'd best get some snoozin' in.

Chrys is on her way tomorrow. Rach is looking forward to receiving her in St. Cloud. I hope Chrys gets on the road early enough to get to Rach's in time for the fair.

Summer and house guests are a good thing over all. It forces my adhd butt into adapting to change. Chrys has been a trooper to take on the adventure. Her hubby letting her come up to spend time with us was a bonus. Thanks J.

Late night

Ran 3 miles easy today.  Needed to go easy too.  I'm a bit
tired and tomorrow I'm supposed to have a tempo run so I'll be needing
all my sleep.  Tempo run search -  http://shorterlink.org/379



Swam at St. Malo tonight.  That's the first time I've been in the
lake this year.  It's cooking hot here and my lamp beside my bed
has drawn a multitude of insects through the screen.  I am loving
the heat.  Many years it's just plain old "too hot", but not this
year.  After so long without a blast of prairie heat, I'm just
lapping it up.



Here is the training program I'm beginning.



I'll run the race on September 25th.

CN Tracks of Glory 



Here is a piece on the remontoire.  When I was in school to study horology, I met Mr. Fried.  He was very tolerant of our youth and enthusiasm.

 

Short version -

"The term remontoire is engraved or stamped on the back dust covers of
many Swiss and French watches made mostly after 1860. Strictly
speaking, the term indicates the watch doesn't have to be wound with a
key."

house guest

This would be the beginning. I've been toying with this idea for too long.

I've wondered with an envious heart what a pleasure it would be to look back at all the odd little corners of interest that I have been through.

Right now it's running that is consuming me. The last couple of years have been all about learning the details of life with ADHD and how to best cope. www.addforums.com was a good resource. I stood as an administrator there when they were looking to advance their membership in qualitative ways. It turned out that I like to move faster than the owner, so I stepped away and spent that energy on running and other no so on line things.