Anyone tried this?

Christmas Cake.

Ingredients:

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle Irish Whiskey
2 cups of dried fruit


Sample the Irish Whiskey to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Irish Whiskey again.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Irish Whiskey is still OK.

Try another cup .... just in case

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Irish Whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt.

Or something. Who giveshz a ****.

Check the Irish Whiskey.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window,

Finish the Irish Whiskey.